your love

i'm searching for the answer.
i can't find it.
so i look deeper into the pile of books.
but no, nothing tells me of what to do.

soul searching, i am.

in confusion i fall
and nowhere to be found am i.

and i am aware that you are fading from the picture.
and it's as if the lesser visible you become,
the more my smile faded as well.

but even though you're almost gone,
i'll stand my ground.
i'll keep you where you are.
inside... inside that heart of swirls.

and as the notes flow in,
the despair falls deeper.
and the piano digs deep into me
calling, in silence, your name.

each guitar string is wrapped with emotion.
and you held it with your hands...
and left a mark that would keep it wounded.
you left it craving for your touch,
craving for your love.

snakes and ladders

so my family, relatives and i went to the beach today. the water was very clear and the weather was perfect. so, since i'm not in the "talk all about it" mood, i'll just skip it all to the point. so snakes and ladders is the title of this blog because today, while swimming in the middle of the sea, we saw countless sea snakes. and well, because of getting scared, i hurried to the ladder and got wounded. tada! snakes and ladders. hahaha so ima have to go and do some work. see ya'll 'round

what if you

What if you
Could wish me away
What if you
Spoke those words today

I wonder if you'd miss me
When I'm gone
It's come to this, release me
I'll leave before the dawn

But for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

What if you
Could hear this song
What if I
Felt like I belong

I might not be leaving
Oh so soon
Began the night believing
I loved you in the moonlight

So, for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

I could've treated you better
Better than this
Well, I'm gone, this song's your letter
Can't stay in one place

So, for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do


wala lang. ako'y nakatulala sa hangin at nakakaramdam ng kabigatan galing sa mundo.
hindi alam anong gawin, ako ay umuupo at nakatitig sa mga mata mo.

Bulimic

Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder characterised by recurrent binge eating, followed by compensatory behaviors, referred to as "purging". The most common form—practiced more than 75% of people with bulimia nervosa—is self-induced vomiting; fasting, the use of laxatives, enemas, diuretics, and overexercising are also common.

you people must be wondering why I put a definition of Bulimia Nervosa up there. well, it's because I'm bulimic. I recently discovered it due to unwanted vomiting. I told Shoti about it and he said that I might be bulimic. curious enough, I went online just to check about it. I found the definition stated above and well, I do binge eating sometimes. I also do self-induced vomiting and fasting. I don't eat breakfast and on tuesdays and thursdays, because of the thirty minute lunch break, I preferred not to eat lunch anymore. so that's pretty much it. i think i'm chubby but hey, i don't do anything about it really. i eat when i can eat. i just hope that whatever i eat gets stuck in my stomach rather than being puked out. >.> so till here people. i have to master my report for MC90.. JOY.

I'm ready to fall

[And today was a day just like any other]

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won't feel your tires on the street
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop, Keep pushing
I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call

I am aware, I've been misled
I disconnect my heart, my head
Don't wanna recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Except that I am finding the words... to say

I'm ready, I'm ready to drop
Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop
I'm ready so don't stop

[I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there's fog on the windows.
(And I'm Fighting the words...)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you're getting away...)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone's singing along.]

Well, I'm ready, to drop, well, I'm ready
I'm ready so don't stop, oh
Well, keep pushing, I'm ready to fall
Well, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't call
I'm ready so don't call, oh... oh... oh...

~ so there goes a song by Jack's Mannequin.
one of my favorites really.
and one of the songs that fits my soundtrack for this point in life.
i gotta keep this short though. i still have a report to make.
just some editing, really though.
but hey, a report is a report. i have to master the words i will be using.

song for the week: check yes juliet by we the kings

look em up in youtube. they're awesome.

see you guys some other time. :3

I heart you

I heart you simply looks like this. I <3 you
and yeah, translated, it means, I LOVE YOU.
so many people would wonder who I am referring to. well, I can't tell you.
it will simply ruin a lot of things that's good in my life.
:D
yeah, it's got all the drama but whatever.

I dreamed about him again last night. for the 3rd time. but last night, it was like we were already together. :3

and yes, I know I shouldn't let this feeling take over me. but I'm simply letting his memory do good for me. ^__^

he is practically all over my head right now. :">

and it's like when I talk to him, I really wanna tell him that I LOVE HIM! but i can't.. boohoo.. but it's all good. ;3

I can wait for that moment.. if ever that moment comes. >.>

anyway, that's it for now. :3

I just wanna let it out that I love someone. :D

have a good day people! ^___^

I had dengue... again.

so today, I woke up feeling soo bad. I took my temperature and found it on 37.7.. slight fever. so I prepared my things and went to school. it was 10:00 when I got to school. I looked for my groupmates whom I was supposed to meet at the gazebo for a report that we'd be making. I waited till 11:00 when I finally saw one of them but since I got weaker by the moment, I had to go home and rest. My parents picked me up from school and the moment that we arrived home, I went upstairs and slept. my cousin called up my mom that afternoon and asked how everybody was doing. my mom told him that I was sick and all. since he's a doctor, it's a good thing check-up was free. haha anyway, he said that I might have dengue. he just told me to rest and drink my medicines. I feel better. but I also feel like my fever is coming back. it went up to 38, by the way. and I have cough and colds. I've been coughing practically the whole day. I'm feeling like there's something really wrong with me. after a few hours of lunch, I had my mom buy me iced coffee from fagioli. a few minutes after drinking it, I pucked it all out. including my lunch. >.> so, yeah. I have no idea what's wrong yet. but I'm definitely not feeling okay.

goodnight. I still have to finish a report.

coffee for depression

so I'm sitting down, holding my guitar and typing away with a song stuck to my head.
I might be going emo but then again, I wouldn't know.
I practiced how to play volleyball this afternoon and well, "fortunately", my ball got to our neighbor's house, who apparently wasn't there.
so I'll be getting my volleyball back tomorrow. because up until now, our neighbor still isn't there. >.>

coffee for depression. because I was feeling emo-ish so instead of drinking alcoholic beverages, I drank coffee. BOW.

so I'll end it here. since my emoness has ended as well.

see you

getting sicker by the moment

so today, today, today... how can I start telling you about my day today.

well, I woke up about 3:30 am and asked permission from my dad to go with a friend to witness some turtle eggs hatching. well, sad to day, he didn't let me go. my mom and I dropped my dad off at the airport about 4:30 am. when we got back to the house, I read a few pages off that book I told you guys about yesterday. after a few stories read, I put down my book and went upstairs to go to sleep. I felt fever coming onto me. >.< so I slept at about 6:30 and woke up about 11 am. I went down and waited for my relatives. we had the barbeque extravaganza today. so anyway, there was eating, kwentuhan and all those other stuffs. we went online at skype and talked to our relatives who were in england. it was fun. my cousin's fiance brought her DSLR. and well, lil ol' ignorant me started playing with it. :)) :P i took a few pics with it. and i made them take a pic of me using the DSLR. bwahahaha XD

so now, i still have fever. and getting sicker by the moment. >.< so that's it pretty much. hope i get well by tomorrow. i wouldn't wanna feel bad at the first day of school.

spera te un momento

What should I even talk about first? A LOT happened today and it's not yet even over.

so again, let's start with when I woke up.. uhm... lemme think about what happened. I can't seem to remember.. >.< my dad wanted to go to SM. we went there about 11 am. we went around for a moment then ate lunch at about 12:30. after that we went to the grocery to buy some stuffs. then we went to Hush Puppies to go buy my sister new shoes. of course, my dad took part and bought something for himself too. after that, we went to Ace Hardware to buy a griller for tomorrow's barbeque thingy here at home with relatives. then we put all of those stuff that we bought in the car and went back inside to have coffee. after drinking coffee, my mom went to the travel club. I went with her as dad went around SM to burn off what we ate. my mom and I checked out bags there. she liked a few. she wanted to buy one. I wanted to buy one. my dad came, he wanted to buy one bag and a wallet. we ended up buying a lot... :))


and so we came home with A LOTTA BAGS. we opened them, fixed them, put them in the right places and WA-LA! ^_^ things are looking better :D I bought my dad one of those pillows sa SM that had written on it, "DAD ROCKS".. nyahahaha XD he loved it! ^_^


Realizations for today: While walking with the bags of Hush Puppies on my hand, I found myself in a happy mood. I realized that really small things make me happy. even if they're not mine to be happy about. and small things equally make me go angry even when they're not supposed to be noticed.


on the way home, my parents went all sweet at each other. my dad thanked my mom for the stuff that she let him buy. she said, "Happy father's day, Dad".. and, I might have said this a lot to numerous people that I didn't want to get married. but when looking at my parents go all sweet and considerate at each other, it makes me see how much they truly love each other. and I find myself looking forward to the day that I'd have a love that strong with a special someone. :) <3>

EVERYWHERE: from the last post I made, it might be a little obvious that I'm in love. ^_^ I've been wanting to see him today. even just by chance. and so with that desire, I ended up seeing his face EVERY WHERE I looked. even if it wasn't really him >.<

The Week's Events: A friend of mine went online a few minutes ago.His name is Ralph. he just got out of the hospital yesterday. four sicknesses in one time dudes.. so please, pray for my friend. >.<>

So about the title.. it means, "wait a moment".. it's spanish.. i put that as my title because during lunch, my orders were given last. and it took pizza hut a long time to finish it. i wasn't in a hurry though but my parents we getting pissed off. i asked myself a question just then. how come they don't wait? God said to wait.. but until what time to we know when we have to stop waiting and start making things happen? O.o any takers?

so yun na muna.. i suddenly forgot ALL the things that I was supposed to write here. I had a lot of stuff going on my head the whole day. a LOT of stuff to tell. >.<>